Worrying has been something that has played a huge part in my life. I’m sure I have worried about everything there is to worry about at some point in my life. It is a huge problem and something that I work on every single day. I know what the Bible says and what God commands about worrying, yet I still do it. It’s like the argument that Paul has with himself in Romans 7. Paul basically says he knows what he is supposed to do, yet he doesn’t do it. We see how much of a struggle it is for him. This is essentially how it is for me with worrying. However, I think God is really trying to assure me that He has everything under control and that I shouldn’t have to worry.
As most of you know, the day after I moved to Altoona PA to start my new job as a full-time youth pastor, I was in a bad automobile accident. I was towing a U-Haul trailer and I hit some ice on Route 22. The trailer swung out of control and threw my truck off of the road. I think the U-Haul both hurt and saved me. First, if I weren’t towing it, I probably would have been able to stay on the road. But if I did go off the road, without the U-Haul, my truck probably would have rolled. I’m fairly positive that the weight of the U-Haul prevented my truck from rolling. My truck was completely destroyed yet I came away from it all with only a broken thumb. I should have been severely injured. My truck was airborne at one point and I think (though I’m not 100% sure) the U-Haul landed on the bed of my truck. I felt like I was rolling and everything seemed to happen in slow motion. Whenever all of the chaos stopped and I had a second to stop and realize what happened, I was devastated. I had just moved to a new city and a new state, and I was excited to get things started on a good note. Then that happened. The first thing I thought about was my girlfriend Meghan. My moving away from New York was so hard on us and now, one day after leaving, I would have to let her know that I was in a bad car accident. I knew she would feel helpless and even more uneasy with my being over three hundred miles away from her.
Whenever I built up enough strength to climb out of my truck (which was very hard to do considering the angle I was stopped at on the hillside), I paused for a minute before looking at the damage. The first thing I noticed was that the gas cap door was open, which kind of gave me a little bit of comedy in that chaotic time. I thought, “hmmm…that doesn’t look like too much damage!” But oh was I wrong (as you can see from the pictures). The next thing I noticed, after scanning over the twisted and jagged metal of the bed of my truck was the U-Haul trailer. My heart dropped because immediately I remembered that I declined insurance on it when renting it. I thought that nothing would happen and I wouldn’t need it. Whoops!
As soon as I saw the damage to my truck, I hoped that it would be totaled. If it were to be fixed, it would never run the same again. My biggest concern, however, was the U-Haul. It was flipped onto it’s side and it completely snapped the ball off of my hitch and twisted the steel of the receiver. I thought for sure that there would be a lot of money in damage to it. I worried about this for the rest of that day and part of the next. Eventually, I was able to get the pastor and an elder from my church to pick up the trailer and return it for me (since I no longer had a truck). Later that day, my Pastor called me and told me the damage to the trailer was going to cost $5,000. He let me be shocked for a few long seconds, then he told me he was just joking and that it only cost $48 ($20 something of that was because it was one day late). That was a huge relief.
The next obstacle to overcome was getting another vehicle to get me around in until everything was settled with the insurance and auto loan companies. By Sunday of that week, I had four offers from people from the church who would let me use a vehicle until I found one of my own. By Tuesday, I had a car to use (that came with a full tank of gas).
The next obstacle to overcome was a shock to me. I found out that the insurance company would only cover a little over $10,000 for my truck. But I still owed a little over $13,000. I thought that I would be able to tack this onto my next auto loan or make smaller payments. But I found out that my auto loan company doesn’t allow roll over, and that I am responsible to pay off the remaining $3,000 plus within a month after they receive the check from my insurance company. I was upset when I found this out, but shortly after, through the help of my girlfriend, I felt like God was telling me it was going to be ok and that He would provide for me.
And God has been providing for me ever since the day of my accident. During the accident though, God provided me with safety. I shouldn’t be in as good of shape as I am today. God definitely had His hand there protecting me. He provided me with help from the firemen, police, and tow truck drivers at the scene of the accident. He provided me with my parents being able to come and pick me up. He provided me with them being able to take me back to the hospital my mom works at for x-rays. He provided me with a way to return the U-Haul. He provided me with protection to the U-Haul (because it should have been damaged more than it was as well). He provided me with excellent help from the insurance company. He provided me with a car to use temporarily. And I trust that He will provide me with enough money to pay off the remainder of my loan and that He will provide me with another truck of my own.
God has been extremely good to me so far in my journey with Him and there is no reason for me to believe that He will stop. Although I have struggled with worrying for as long as I can remember, this accident and the events that followed have strongly helped me realize that God WILL provide for me and that there is nothing to worry about.
It happened and there is nothing I can do to change it. It is what it is!
I have been blessed!